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What Am I Going to Do? 7 Steps to Get Unstuck

Resilience | 0 comments

This is one of those times I have no idea what to write about, so I’m in what I like to call the Land of I Don’t Know. Reminds me of lyrics from my song Everything I Need: “What am I gonna do now? I don’t want to go through this feeling again. Feels like another dead end.” All I do know in this space of not knowing is it’s time for some self-care, self-love and self-acceptance. As a singer, songwriter and motivational speaker I’ve experienced enough writer’s block, resistance and stage fright over the years to know that it’s not a sign to stop – it’s a sign that it’s time to get out of my head, into my heart and body, and get into a state of acceptance and presence.

Trigger Warning: murder, child loss.

Not to simplify things. I know that when you add grief, chronic pain or trauma to the mix, sometimes you can get into this place of “enough is enough” and just want to give up. I’m telling you right now, that point is actually where you have heightened access to Truth, Spirit/Source and Deep Knowing.

You just need to let yourself be. What I’m going to share with you here has a lot to do with how I’ve been able to create my Picking Up the Pieces music album while grieving the loss of my son to murder while I went through the murder trial.

Here’s what I know about being stuck and freeing yourself.

1. I Don’t Know is a powerful place to be, because we can’t create something truly new or have true growth when we come from a place of thinking we know exactly what to do and how things will go. Information is so free-flowing now that it’s almost dangerous, because we think we can just know it all by searching on the Internet, rather than having real experiences in life, which is where resilience, strength and creativity thrive and grow. We do know a lot, it’s true. We have a thirst for knowledge and it can bother us when we don’t know something but if we can just tap into that space of not knowing, and stay with it to see what emerges, there is so much wisdom available to us.

2. If I feel stuck on what to write or what to say, trying to force myself out of stuckness using rational thought and logical strategizing won’t work, because logic requires you to look to the past for what worked and let the ego-mind be in charge, instead of creating and holding space for creativity, not-knowing, and whatever emerges in the moment (like this article – I wrote this from a state of not-knowing!). Inspiration doesn’t come from logical thought. It comes from being open to whatever state you’re in, whatever experience you are having, and the multitude of possibilities that exist in every situation. It comes from opening yourself to the life force energy in everything including you.

3. I can let myself be with that stuckness without trying to fix it. How? Just write. Speak. Play. Presence the fact that you don’t know what to say, write, do or how to express yourself in the moment. Instead of “trying,” just do something. Anything. Let yourself connect to the flow of Source energy – Life itself – within your own body. Where does it want to take you? We’re NEVER completely stuck. “I’m stuck” is a lie. Just part of you is feeling stuck and probably only in one specific situation.

4. Ask who – which part of you – is stuck/out of flow, because it’s NOT all of you. Your blood is in flow. Your heart is in flow. Even when parts of you are “feeling off” or are physically damaged or you feel like you’re fully in resistance, you are not. Just part of you is. Your body knows to flow more blood to physical parts of you that are hurting. We just need to remind ourselves to flow more Love and Light to those non-physical parts (and the physical parts) of us that are hurting or stuck. That’s how we can free ourselves, even during grief, trauma or chronic pain.

5. Once you know which part of you is hurting and creating resistance, you can tend to it. Is it your inner 5 year old? Your inner teenaged rebel? 25 year old you who took a chance and got hurt? And what do they need from Adult You right now? To throw on a little music? To go for a walk? To pull out the oracle deck and make some decisions? A big hug? To just breathe? To be heard? I know for me right now, it’s my 50 year old, my 20 year old and my 5 year old being triggered. I’m about to do something – well many somethings – that require me to bring everything good up a notch, like my courage, resilience, confidence, playfulness and spiritual connection. I’m feeling the tension between the present me and those older parts of me who have been hurt and traumatized. And that’s the point – to be present for those aspects of me that need a little extra self-love and self-care.

6. Chances are, if you feel stuck or you’re in the Land of I Don’t Know, part of you wants to be somewhere else, do something else, or just plain run away. It’s afraid of something – and that something is probably to do with growth, transformation, some sort of shift within and around you, the unknown. Whether the fear is rational or not doesn’t matter. If you can acknowledge whatever shows up, including the fear, you’ll start to come back to flow again.

7. Notice what’s flowing in your body, mind and life. There is an endless stream of energy and life flowing through you and everywhere around you. All we need to do is feel our own pulse, notice our breath or just look around to remember that. Then you can begin to reconnect the disconnected parts of yourself to the flow of Life, and that stuckness will start to melt away.

FINAL WORDS: Oh, by the way, FEEL the energy of what’s being transmitted to you here, because this article is brimming with the energy and journey of moving out of stuckness and into Flow. Enjoy!

Questions about the article? Leave a comment below. I’m sure it will help others too.

Love & Blessings,

Brenda MacIntyre, Medicine Song Woman



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About Brenda MacIntyre

About Brenda MacIntyre

Known by her indigenous name Medicine Song Woman, Brenda MacIntyre has shared her evocative melodic voice and fusion of reggae, rap and indigenous hand drum healing music with appreciative audiences of 30 to 3,000 across North America. The Toronto-based Juno Award-winning singer has been featured nationally on MuchMusic, CTV, CP24, APTN and most recently, Global and the front page of the Toronto Star.

Powered by her grief from losing her son to murder in 2016, Brenda MacIntyre pours her soulful voice over a confluence of indigenous hand drum healing, soft rap and conscious roots reggae in her album “Picking Up the Pieces,” released in September 2019.

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