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The 5 Black Holes that are Draining Your Time and Energy

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Ever wonder where your day just went, or feel frustrated that you’ve got no time and things are still not getting done? After being a single mom and entrepreneur for many years, I’ve identified 5 black holes that are draining your time and energy. Hey, I’m all over calendaring and love it but the roots of the problem are not your calendar.

Disconnection from Your Desires

This first black hole draining your time and energy is a big one. Do you know what you want? What you REALLY want? Not what everyone else wants FOR you or what you THINK you should want. What do YOU want?

When we are told we can’t do something, or that we don’t deserve it, we take on those beliefs and disconnect from our desires – because it can feel very uncomfortable, even painful, to let yourself desire something you believe you can’t have. That’s why I always say: Never give up on YOU.

When you get in touch with your true desires from the level of deservingness, then when you are at a choice point, you can make empowered decisions by asking yourself this question: Does this decision truly support me, my growth and my desires?

Running on Automatic

Some people call it being “set in your ways.” It can even feel like life is easier when you’re running on automatic. For example, if you take the same route to the grocery store every time, you don’t have to think about that route. It’s an established pattern your brain recognizes, which is why is became a “comfort zone.” Our brains love to keep us in the familiar. Creating patterns is great but we also need to have space to grow and expand.

For those of us carrying trauma, anything outside of our normal routines can bring up that trauma. That means creating new patterns can feel difficult at first. The BEST kind of running on automatic is when you create healthy new patterns that become the new “automatic.”

Otherwise, running on automatic can keep you STUCK in unhealthy patterns. Then when opportunities, people or ideas come your way, it’s like you are a plant saying no to water and sunshine. No wonder it feels like your time and energy gets depleted.

I get that carrying trauma, grief or chronic pain can make things even more exhausting. That’s why it’s important to let yourself receive whatever support and resources come your way.

Giving too much and Forgetting to RECEIVE

If you are not allowing yourself to receive, then you are giving from an empty place. That’s the same as drinking the water cooler dry and then expecting water to still come out when it’s all gone. This is exactly how energy vampires can end up draining your time and energy.

When you allow yourself to receive what fills you up, suddenly you start to have more energy, time and resources. Then you become like a fountain instead of an empty glass. What you give becomes more valuable and powerful, and you don’t feel so depleted.

Weak Boundaries

Remember I mentioned energy vampires? That person who always seems to want something from you. You know the one… .who you can’t seem to say no to, so you push down the resentment into your body and just say yes when you really mean no.

It’s best to have strong, well-kept physical and energetic boundaries. Boundaries will keep whatever is draining your time and energy from burning out your light.

By saying yes to something your whole being is telling you NOT to do, you create conflict within yourself. That inner conflict drains your resources. Not to mention, you’re wasting your precious time that you could’ve spent doing something you LOVE to do. Plus you build up hidden resentments, which can turn into physical pain, chronic illness or disease. All this, because you said yes to something you really meant to say NO to. Or worse… the opposite, which leads me to the last and seriously not the least…

Ignoring Your Heart and Spirit

Saying NO to something your heart and spirit want you to say YES to is like expecting a fire to burn in a downpour. We human beings thrive on desire and passion. Our energy increases exponentially when we make conscious decisions that are aligned with our heart and spirit.

When you do what you love and allow yourself to expand, you come home to yourself. The more you come home to yourself, the deeper your connection with your heart and spirit. You have something unique and special about you that wants to be fully expressed. Your desires are your heart and spirit’s way of showing you how to fully express yourself.

Your inner river of Source energy slows down to a trickle when you ignore your heart and spirit.

By paying attention to your heart and spirit, you can more easily stop fear and doubt from controlling you. Then that inner river starts to flow within and around you, and your whole world begins to transform.

What to Do Next

Next time something or someone is draining your time and energy, check in with yourself on these 5 black holes. Nothing wrong with a little shadow but if it sucks all your light away, it’s stopping you from truly living. When you are lit up, the things and people that are draining your time and energy won’t be able to do that anymore. Then you will be able to enjoy life from a place of overflow instead of depletion. I know it sounds like hopium but it’s true.

Don’t give up. If you do carry trauma or grief, it can feel a bit like wading through muck sometimes but stay with it. You deserve to flow with energy and spend time lighting yourself up.

Love & Blessings,

Brenda MacIntyre, Medicine Song Woman



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About Brenda MacIntyre

About Brenda MacIntyre

Known by her indigenous name Medicine Song Woman, Brenda MacIntyre has shared her evocative melodic voice and fusion of reggae, rap and indigenous hand drum healing music with appreciative audiences of 30 to 3,000 across North America. The Toronto-based Juno Award-winning singer has been featured nationally on MuchMusic, CTV, CP24, APTN and most recently, Global and the front page of the Toronto Star.

Powered by her grief from losing her son to murder in 2016, Brenda MacIntyre pours her soulful voice over a confluence of indigenous hand drum healing, soft rap and conscious roots reggae in her album “Picking Up the Pieces,” released in September 2019.

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