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Spiritual Immersion & Self-Sabotage: How to STOP the Self-Sabotage Short Circuit

Identity & Purpose | 0 comments

“If you don’t stop celebrating, I’m gonna give you something to celebrate about!” Michael Bernard Beckwith

Gah. I had a moment when I “should” have been feeling super inspired but instead I was squirming in my seat and shocked by what was happening inside me.

So it’s Thursday June 4th. I’ve just delivered my workshop at the Canadian New Thought Conference and up next is Rev. Michael Beckwith.

Beckwith starts off his talk and proceeds to just channel the entire thing. NOW I’m even MORE excited. I don’t know about you but I’d rather listen to someone flow messages from Spirit than watch an obviously rehearsed talk that’s a little too polished and perfect.

At one point, the audience is just screaming and cheering away and I’m just not. And I don’t know why. What is that about??? I’m LOVING what I’m hearing but it suddenly hits me that I’m not allowing myself to fully FEEL. So I check in with myself.

It’s like the power of complete immersion with Spirit and giving myself over… is just too much to handle. So my system shuts down. I short circuit.

Did you know that’s what happens to keep you in your “comfort zone?” We get glimpses of the amazingness that is us, that is Spirit, and our subconscious freaks out. Poof. Short circuit.

Then I have another aha. It hits me like a bunch of hailstones that immersing myself in Spirit is my new edge. All my life has been about finding my voice and helping others to find their voice. But recently it’s become clear to me that my deeper purpose is to be a spiritual guide, teacher and shaman for those of you who want to go into that place of immersion with Spirit and feel safe as you birth and activate your deeper YOU. The truth is, it doesn’t matter to me if you have a business or not.

What matters most is how compelled you are to reach and activate the sweet elixir of your essence no matter what comes up to get in your way.

And another level of AHA sinks in. You know that recognition that something so BIG is about to BURST through you that you’re not sure if you can handle the power of it? Yeah. That’s where I’m at with one of my creative projects.

I know this project a huge game-changer for me. I know it will reveal more of ME to myself and be the doorway to something bigger than I can even imagine. (Sound familiar?)

I realize that while I am sooooo always outside my (dis)comfort zone and living on some kind of edge, in this one creative area, I have lodged myself firmly into a bunch of muck. And the muck is starting to spread to other areas of my life. I can feel it in my body. Ugh.

WHY? Why would I want to put the brakes on something that is so dear to me, that I’m so excited about? Why would I shut down when I was enjoying Michael Beckwith’s talk?

Yeah, that short circuit thing? It’s just part of the human condition. I had to get to the shutdown in order to get my big AHA. And of course, I was just teaching about this very thing in my workshop. There are ways to bypass this kind of self-sabotage.

How To Stop The Self-Sabotage Short Circuit

1. PAUSE and BREATHE into your belly.

2. Resistance Journaling. Just a spiritual journaling practice that I accidentally created one day when I was feeling resistance. Just write about whatever you’re resisting until you can’t write any more. No holds barred. Then put it away and forget about it. I’ve been getting my clients to do this as well. It’s very powerful.

3. Attend inspiring events like this one I was just speaking at.

4. Get support where and when you need it. YOU MUST come FIRST or else you’re giving from an empty vessel.

5. CHOOSE. I can choose to struggle in the muck and focus so much on the muck that I can’t even see what’s about to burst through me. OR I can choose to create a new way of being RIGHT NOW and take some kind of different new action to kind of short circuit the short circuit. Like a reset of my system.

I chose to sat through the final day of the Canadian New Thought Conference in complete surrender, letting myself be immersed in Spirit. I released tears of pain, joy, openness and connection. I laughed. I sang along with the musicians. I danced. I let myself FEEL what I had been resisting.

After hearing Hay House author Rick Tamlyn and 2 other speakers the night before speak about “Bigger Game” in a way that I’ve never heard anyone do (the exact opposite of what most coaches talk about), I knew that it’s time for me to play a bigger game – by BEing more ME. How? By expressing and receiving (what a big reminder to me of my own teachings too!).

So… what do YOU choose? What steps can you take to give your system a reset and start to be more YOU?

Share your thoughts on the blog. Or questions if you have them. I’m happy to respond off the top of my head. 😉

Love & Blessings,

Brenda MacIntyre, Medicine Song Woman

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About Brenda MacIntyre

About Brenda MacIntyre

Known by her indigenous name Medicine Song Woman, Brenda MacIntyre has shared her evocative melodic voice and fusion of reggae, rap and indigenous hand drum healing music with appreciative audiences of 30 to 3,000 across North America. The Toronto-based Juno Award-winning singer has been featured nationally on MuchMusic, CTV, CP24, APTN and most recently, Global and the front page of the Toronto Star.

Powered by her grief from losing her son to murder in 2016, Brenda MacIntyre pours her soulful voice over a confluence of indigenous hand drum healing, soft rap and conscious roots reggae in her album “Picking Up the Pieces,” released in September 2019.

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