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Spiritual Identity Crisis: Who Am I?

Identity & Purpose | 9 comments

I feel like I’m having a spiritual identity crisis. That’s because I am. Me, my business, my health and my spiritual development. We’ve been going through some major evolution once again. I wrote that line originally in 2015, the year before my son died, and here I am again. Living through the 2020s, it’s no surprise that so many of us are making (or forced to make) big changes in our lives.

You know that itch to recreate yourself? That impossible-to-ignore urge to do something different, bigger, deeper?

That’s what it feels like when a spiritual identity crisis gets to bubble up from within us. If we pay attention and follow that urge, we open ourselves up to  possibility and purpose. That feels almost like a privilege in the 2020s, where we’ve spent several years now trying to figure out who we are, what to do and how to find our ground with all the shifting.

One of the weirdest gifts of the 2020s is that we have been thrown into a necessary transformation, within ourselves but also on a much larger scale. We have a chance to let go of what has kept us from being who we are. We are being led home to ourselves, individually and as a human collective.

When you allow your own evolution, it doesn’t just stop when you think you’ve somehow “arrived”. It keeps on going. Waves and bursts of spiritual upgrades. The scary, frustrating moments in between. And thankfully, the beautiful plateaus we get to rest on for a while once we’ve had an upgrade or uplevel.

The problem with a Spiritual Identity Crisis is that it can become a very compelling excuse for holding back or hiding out when your spirit is being called into something more.

Are You Having A Spiritual Identity Crisis?

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines “identity crisis” as a feeling of unhappiness and confusion caused by not being sure about what type of person you really are or what the true purpose of your life is.

My definition of a Spiritual Identity Crisis is: a feeling of dissatisfaction, disorientation, confusion and fear in the midst of a strong urge to understand who you really are and find your voice. You may or may not know what your purpose is, but you can feel that you need to activate it somehow.

Can you relate? What does your life want from you? What pivots have you made, whether out of necessity or growth?

I could go in a million directions but I can only pick one. Not just one thing I get to do, but one path I get to do it on. I can’t split myself into a million Brenda’s (well, on a multi-dimensional level maybe but that’s another subject lol), so I have to choose a path… or let the path choose me. In the 2020s, for a lot of us, the path chooses us and we may not know what lies ahead.

Checklist: If ANY of these are true, you might be having a spiritual identity crisis.

  • I’ve had no choice but to pivot.
  • I’ve lost a very close loved on and don’t know what to do with myself.
  • I KNOW I’m supposed to be doing something different.
  • Something has to change but I don’t know what or how.
  • All the spiritual advisors I’m seeing say the same thing – that I have this big purpose and I need to step into it.
  • I’m afraid of my own power.
  • It’s like a portal is in front of me, trying to suck me in, but I’m afraid of what’s on the other side, so I keep resisting.
  • I feel like I’m pregnant and the baby is about to come.
  • I can’t handle all this waiting. Why aren’t we there yet??
  • I don’t know who I am any more. Maybe I never did. What is my purpose?
  • Something is missing.
  • I’m bored. What used to bring me joy doesn’t anymore.
  • The people in my life don’t get me or appreciate me.
  • I’m tired of going through the motions. Somebody please show me something better.

Sound familiar? If ANY of these at all are true for you, you’re likely in a Spiritual Identity Crisis.

There’s nothing wrong with you. You are connecting with YOU. 

Take a deep breath into your belly, exhale, and let me share some tips with you on how to connect with that deeper part of you.

A lot of us are in transition right now, so if you are having a spiritual identity crisis, it’s not just you. It’s been going on for a while and it has definitely escalated in the 2020s… but you can learn how to ride the waves.

Self-care is extremely important right now and any time you’re in a spiritual identity crisis. Go easy on yourself when things don’t seem to work out. Don’t give up. Your plans and what your life looks like will probably need to change to allow you to fully express who you are.

Get support when and how you need it. Doing this alone is a lot harder. Yes, connecting with Spirit and intuition are awesome, but remember to seek out and ask for human help along the way.

Go with the flow. Paying attention to the little things is important.

It’s time to see from the eye of the observer – that part of you who sees all without judgment. Then you can make decisions from a place of deep knowing and connection, rather than from a place of fear. That doesn’t mean all fear will disappear. It means when you are in the flow, you are more in touch with your true identity.

What’s your story? Who are you NOW? Who were you before your transformation? Who are you becoming?

I love journaling. I can see my growth and read about my shifts. I can get amazing insights from my spirit just by writing what’s on my heart. I can see the spiritual identity crises I’ve been through and where they have taken me. Here are a few journaling prompts to help you connect with different aspects of your identity, and to allow it – You – to unfold:

Notice what you feel called to do or where you feel called to be.

What are you drawn to?

What is inspiring you?

What in your life has caused you to dig into more of who you are or can become?

Share on the blog! It will create some accountability for you and help you to OWN who you really are.

Love & Blessings,

Brenda MacIntyre, Medicine Song Woman



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  1. Aj Bridges

    This article describes my current situation EXACTLY. I am beginning to believe in the Universe/ planet and that everything happens for a reason, and if you ask a question the answer will find you. I don’t normally answer these blogs or posts, I am very introverted and fear judgement, but this email and blog couldn’t have come at a better time. I fell like you were speaking directly to me, like you read my mind. I was coming down from another anxiety attack this morning and opened this email. I may not have answers, but it helped me calm down a bit.
    I attended a medicine woman drum circle of yours once in Barrie. I have your Oracle cards. You speak to me and I relate to your posts, I am grateful for your honesty. I would very much like to join your Find Your Voice program/ gift pack. I’d do anything to find my voice and my path.

    • Brenda MacIntyre

      Aj, I’m so glad you came to that drum circle I did in Barrie and that you’re enjoying my oracle cards. I get it about fearing judgement, introversion and anxiety. It can take a lot of courage and extra energy to do things most people seem to find it easy to do. To get the Find Your Voice gift pack and mastermind group, you can go to any page of my website and you’ll see an opt-in bar across the page. http://medicinesongwoman.com. It’s free. Thank you for the comment, I appreciate the courage it took to post this. Blessings.

  2. l him

    You need to be a part of a contest for one of the best websites on the internet.
    I’m going to recommend this web site!

  3. louis carter

    OMG! this is exactly how i would explain my situation. it definitely moved me. OMG!

    • Brenda MacIntyre

      Awesome, so glad to help, Louis. Sorry it took me a while to respond. My own identity crisis was coming out of a major loss in my life and I had to take some time off. I hope you’re well and thriving.

  4. Breno Freire

    Thank you, from deep inside my heart and soul!!!!

    • Brenda MacIntyre

      You are so welcome, Breno.

  5. Landon

    I am scared of what I am being called to do. I began this journey a while back and have recently wanted it to be over, I felt contempt with how far I’ve come. I realized that anytime someone would discuss anything more about bettering themselves of progressing, I would become irritated and I realized that this journey isn’t just a phase. Everything has changed and the person I thought I was going to be is no longer the person I am seeing I need to be. I just got a college acceptance letter too with an $8,000 scholarship for my “dream” career. I’ve built friends and close relationships around this and now I am being shown it isn’t right for me. I’m just having a really hard time scrapping my old identity and working with the one that I feel I need to pursue. I hate the activities that it requires, but I love the progress. I just don’t want to move back or forward right now, I just want to hide.

    • Brenda MacIntyre

      Landon, congrats on the scholarship, no matter what your decision! Take that as evidence that you can get what you want. What if you give yourself permission to have some hiding time every day for a while? That part of you who wants to hide might just need you to see and acknowledge it, and help it to feel safe, so you can move into whatever this new exploration is. I get it. I’ve been there. Our brains love the familiar, so starting fresh with your whole identity and path elicits a pretty big NOPE from the part of your brain that wants you to be safe. It will just take repetition to show your brain that you *are* safe and that this new path is the better one. Unfortunately, it can feel like (and be) a lot of one step forward, two steps back, two steps forward, one step back, along the way. I hope that helps.


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About Brenda MacIntyre

About Brenda MacIntyre

Known by her indigenous name Medicine Song Woman, Brenda MacIntyre has shared her evocative melodic voice and fusion of reggae, rap and indigenous hand drum healing music with appreciative audiences of 30 to 3,000 across North America. The Toronto-based Juno Award-winning singer has been featured nationally on MuchMusic, CTV, CP24, APTN and most recently, Global and the front page of the Toronto Star.

Powered by her grief from losing her son to murder in 2016, Brenda MacIntyre pours her soulful voice over a confluence of indigenous hand drum healing, soft rap and conscious roots reggae in her album “Picking Up the Pieces,” released in September 2019.

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