No more separation
Heartbeat to heartbeat connection
We need to remember
Love is all that matters
— Lyrics from “Love Is All that Matters” by Brenda MacIntyre
“Love is all that matters” doesn’t mean we can just dismiss and hide everything else under the rug. Gun violence is real and it needs to stop. Anger is real and we all need to acknowledge our own anger (and grief) and express it in healthy ways.
It’s getting back to a state of being Love that matters the most, and everything on the way to that. Sometimes we need that heartbeat to heartbeat connection with some very meaningful human beings in our lives in order to come back from a devastating loss.
If you’re going through a major transition or you’re grieving a big loss, you may be feeling a sense of separation and like your heartbeats have nothing with which to connect. The truth is, you’ve got to find your own heartbeat again, and connect yourself back to your heart in your own time and your own way.
It can feel really painful at first, especially with traumatic loss like child loss, murder or suicide, but believe me, you are worth the time, energy and effort it takes to come back to yourself, to the Love that you are. It’s not an instant fix. It will take time to find your way to live with the grief. The waves of grief will shift and if you can allow it, you will feel love again eventually.
Please find a way to love yourself the best you can, and connect with others who love you, to help you remember the Love that you are.
TRY THIS: Put one or both of your hands on your heart and just breathe into your heart for a few minutes. Allow whatever emotions arise to be there with you. Acknowledge your feelings and body sensations. See if you can feel a little extra love for the hurting parts of you. You can literally send that love deep into your whole body and energy system by intending it be so, and using your breath.
Final thoughts: The Love that I am loves the Love that you are. We are all made of it. We just need to find out way to be the unique expression of Love that we are. How? I know sometimes when you’re in grief sometimes nothing can make you feel good. That’s okay. Just feel whatever is present. Make a list of what makes you feel better. I used to tell all my clients to make a “Love to do list” and an “easy to do list” but I know for me on my traumatic grief journey, when I was in shock, I wasn’t able to bring myself to do anything on those lists. I just felt numb. When I was able to, I started to do the things that used to light me up. Sometimes they would bring me joy or at least a smile but I also discovered that some of my favourite go-to’s no longer bring me joy. Because of that I’ve made a lot of shifts and changes in my lifestyle and now am feeling more joy again, even alongside the grief.
Returning to the Love that you are can feel a little like moving mountains when you’re on a grief journey but please do whatever it takes to re-create yourself and reconnect to the Love that you are.
Hope this helps. Please feel welcome to share it with friends you know who are experiencing grief, trauma, loss or chronic pain.
Love & Light,
Brenda MacIntyre, Medicine Song Woman