Updated September 5th, 2023
The 2020s have proven to be a time of war between truth and disinformation. If ever there was a time to find your voice and learn how to speak your truth with grace and power, it is NOW.
Here’s something I know to be true after finding my voice and teaching about how to find your voice and speak your truth for over 20 years:
When you find your voice and begin to speak your truth, guess what happens? Opportunities to find your voice and speak your truth will routinely show up for you. Some of those opportunities are fun and some, not so much. For those of us spreading evidence-based facts as well as speaking our spiritual truths, wow it is not easy right now, but it is absolutely necessary. I would even go as far as saying it is part of your purpose.
You know when people dishonour agreements with you, and then you have to choose if, when and how to call them out on it? You want a favourable outcome but you’re pretty sure it won’t come in the package you were hoping for. To speak your truth or to not say anything. Hmmmm…. And then if you do say something, how will you say it to get the best results?
On a community level, it can feel daunting these days when you are actively speaking the truth about evidence-based facts or speaking up against all the “isms” that are amplified.
On a personal level, in some ways finding your voice and speaking your truth can be even harder, because it involves your relationships with family and friends.
Trauma, fear, anxiety, self-doubt or anger can pop up to derail what you want to say. That’s why I wanted to share my top 7 tips with you on how to find your voice and speak the truth.
My Top 7 Tips on How to Speak The Truth With Grace and Power…
1. Find your inner voice first to decide how to respond with your outer voice.
I have a whole module dedicated to silence in my Sacred Feminine Success Path™ program for women, because silence has many forms. Not all silence is negative. Sometimes it’s very empowering to choose silence. Sometimes a few moments of silence – a pause before your response – will get the other person thinking, calm your nerves and turn the conversation in an unexpectedly positive direction. Speaking a spiritual truth depends on your relationship with the person or people on the receiving end.
Pause. Breathe into your belly. See if you can find your inner voice – your intuition – and decide on your response from there. Your intuition lives in your body, so you need to be present in your body to hear that quiet little voice.
2. Sometimes being extremely direct, with no fluff, is necessary.
I like to put a lovely frame around my words and sometimes that is not the best response. Directness and clarity are really important when it comes to speaking truth, especially when you are faced with disinformation or in a position of leadership.
Don’t confuse directness with anger. They are not the same. You can be direct without being angry, and you can express anger without being direct. If you are mindful and present enough in your body, you can use your emotions as fuel (anger but also your passion and compassion for humanity, for example) to give you the courage and the words to speak. What is your WHY behind your truth-speaking?
3. If volatile emotions like anger feel like they are about to erupt, pause and get control of your inner volcano.
If you are really angry, the least effective way to communicate that anger is by going off like a volcano. You will use up far too much energy, scatter your message and probably regret it. Meanwhile, it’s like adding logs to the fire of the person you’re addressing.
If you are right there with the person with whom you are speaking, give yourself space. Back your energy off and be silent for a moment. Take a time-out to breathe out some of the anger, get focused and channel your emotions and energy through your body and voice. How? Take a bathroom break, excuse yourself for a few minutes or just pause and lean back.
If you are writing to someone or posting on social media, write, talk or yell it out uncensored all by yourself somewhere nobody can hear you. Then leave it and come back to it later. Don’t send it or talk to the person until all volatile emotional charge is released from you and what you will say. In other words, there’s no need for you to be a jerk about it. But do make sure you say what you really need to say. If it’s not an email but you need to have a conversation over the phone, zoom or in person, and things have gotten intense and could go off the rails, you can tell them you need a few minutes (or hours) to think things over before continuing the conversation.
4. Remember we are all human, we were all children and we all have our opinions, but when you know a Truth down to the bone, you can speak it with grace and power.
I like to believe the best about people. The 2020s have shown us that many people are not who we thought they were. Sometimes people will do or say things out of integrity with the intention of hurting you. Sometimes their intentions are not to hurt anyone. Sometimes people are so deep in their shit, they can’t even see it (that’s a quote from my elder lol!).
Check in intuitively and read or listen to the actual words being said to you.
Pay special attention to what’s in between the lines to see what is actually true. People can send all kinds of mixed messages and weird energy when they don’t want to see, hear or speak the truth.
What prompted me to write this article is someone telling me half-truths, made up excuses and an actual truth in the mix. Pay attention with ALL your senses and TRUST YOURSELF. We all have inner knowings and your body has ways of telling you what’s true and what isn’t.
The reverse is also true. Make sure YOU aren’t sending out mixed signals and weird energy in your communications. It could be that YOU are so deep in your shit you can’t see it. It’s always good to check in. That’s why #2 is important. It never feels good on the receiving end of that.
5. There is always, always a teaching or blessing for you in every experience, including communications.
When someone says something that you don’t agree with or that triggers you, check in with yourself before responding.
Are they speaking truth or just expressing an opinion or projecting something onto you? Is there some personal growth work for you in this situation? Do you need to be more clear to get your point across?
This exercise is not about beating yourself up. It’s about deep listening and trusting what you “hear” with all your senses. Then you can communicate based on the truths your body is telling you.
What we hear with our ears is only a small part of the picture. What does their (or your) body language say? What about your other senses?
6. Only say yes to what you really want to say yes to, and learn how to say no when it’s needed.
Boundaries are important. When someone is attempting to push your boundaries, your response might vary between resentment, anger, people-pleasing or changing the subject.
You know those times when you desperately want out of a conversation or an agreement because what’s happening no longer feels aligned with you, or you just have a bad feeling about it? Or those times when you leave a conversation thinking, wow, this is great… but you have an underlying feeling that maybe it isn’t so great?
Your intuition knows. The more we not only listen to our intuition but communicate and take action based on it, the more aligned our lives can become.
7. Last but not least, you may or may not get a favourable response, or any response at all.
Don’t expect unicorns and rainbows. You might get those or you might get the opposite, even after your best efforts.
Speaking your truth with power and grace might piss off some people but the right people will receive what you say and do something good with it.
Do everything you can to be in integrity with yourself and your values and boundaries.
Do your best to speak the truth directly and clearly.
Got your own ideas, feedback or questions about finding your voice? Aha’s hitting you right now? Please share on the blog. I’d love to hear about it.
Love & Blessings,
Brenda MacIntyre, Medicine Song Woman
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FOLLOW ME ON SPOTIFY – MUSIC FOR THESE CRAZY TIMES:
- Follow My Artist Account on Spotify.
- Follow my Global Pandemic Playlist on Spotify. The studio (CD, not live) version of the songs I sang in the livestreamed concert are also in this playlist.
- Follow the RENEWAL Playlist for springtime on Spotify