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How to Find the Flow in Situations that Suck

Resilience | 0 comments

Sometimes I love to write. Sometimes I love to speak and always I love to sing. I don’t know what to write for this month’s ezine and blog so here I am.

I thought maybe I’m not supposed to write because instead I’m meant to do a voice recording. I knew I didn’t feel like doing a video. There’s one thing I’ve learned this one year, maybe 2013, that – lived by this for the year – I only do what I FEEL like doing. That was something I carried lightly for a while. I’m only going to do something if it feels good… and I don’t mean that in the way most people would think of it.

If you’re not aligned with something, you’re not going to feel good about doing it. If you are aligned with something, you are going to feel good about doing it but you also might feel a little bit nervous, fearful, and that’s okay too, but what I was talking about is living life in alignment with who you are. I’m not trying to say be aligned 24/7 (because I don’t think anyone does that) but more and more of that.

When you are living in alignment with who you are, then it means choosing things that are in alignment with who you are. Choosing actions, choosing words, choosing responses, choosing experiences, choosing where we go, who we hang out with and all those things. But when you’re choosing from a higher and more expanded place, then you’re always picking the aligned choice. Or you’re making something that may not have been aligned before, all of a sudden aligned NOW because you’ve just raised your frequency and gotten into a space of being aligned with doing it.

If you’re aligned with doing something… this is how my brain works sometimes (I forget things)… if you have to do something but you’re doing it out of a space of obligation, it’s very different than doing it because you’re aligned with doing it.

When you are misaligned with doing something, like you know it’s completely out of alignment with you, and you go and do it, it’s not going to make you feel good, but it’s also going to have repercussions.

A lot of times that’s what’s happening in our lives. We’re out of alignment in so many different ways. We are in alignment in some ways but mostly we’re running on default – not fully in alignment with who we are.

One of my mentors talks about this like “is it a 10 for you?” If you rate it on a scale of 1-10, what does it feel like for you? There’s more to it but for my point here, if you’re doing things that are aligned with you, then you raise your frequency, you feel better, and you have access to different kinds of awarenesses and insights that you wouldn’t have otherwise.

If we’re walking around with different areas of our lives out of alignment… like maybe you hate your job, or you hate to get up early but you have to get up early anyway… then it grates on our energy and brings our frequency down, which means we have less access to the things that we want, higher ideas, deeper connections to ourselves and Spirit. But the more aligned we are with ourselves and Spirit, everything flows better and feels better.

What happens when you’re in alignment with something is, everything lights up in your system. Your health gets better; everything gets better. When we’re out of alignment in different ways, all of those little things or big things that we’re out of alignment with ourselves on, are going to affect things like our energy, health and how we’re feeling. Even how our lives are going and our mental acuity are affected. It really serves us to find those places that we’re out of alignment and correct them… by doing things that are in alignment. And the other side of that is making some things that feel out of alignment be in alignment with you.

For example, the job you hate, or the fights you keep having with your kid, you’re not going to leave the person or end the relationship necessarily, but you can change how you’re approaching it.

You can change the space you’re in when you’re approaching anything, and then that shifts into being in alignment with you. Another of my mentors has talked about this as entrainment, which is also a musical term (like if you keep singing along with a song until you “get it right” and then it stays in your body memory). You can entrain someone to you, which is what we try to do with our children, raising them according to our values, and trying to convince them that this is the right thing to do and no, you really shouldn’t do that.

On an energetic level this happens too, which is why walking your talk is so important. I am not going to be able to entrain my daughter to me if I am not walking my talk because then my energy and frequency are not as high. That weakens things, structures in your aura and weakens you as a person. But when you’re in alignment, what happens is you are stronger. You’re physically stronger, emotionally stronger, more resilient, more able to enjoy life but also able to manage when things come at you that aren’t feeling the greatest.



The one thing I was going to talk about… This is sort of a process that I take myself through right now because after PTSD coming in, after losing my son and going through the court system, my memory got really bad, so I started teaching myself how to track back when I forget what I’m talking about. This happens to all of us to some degree but it’s certainly happened a lot more to me and prevalently since my son died. I have to get quiet, be still and drop the self-judgement, while sort of energetically tracking my previous thoughts. It’s like I’m rewinding a tape (yep, just dated myself), except the tape appears to be blank and I have to find the invisible words (the thoughts) recorded on the tape.

But what I wanted to get back to was…

I didn’t want to be wordy but wanted to try something different and give you something you can listen to any time, just a few words really. I don’t even know if I’ll send you this recording or if I’ll just type it out (so I guess I did both then lol).

I wanted to offer you “unfiltered Brenda in not perfect anything.” I do that a lot on social media but I wanted to do that here, with my ezine. A lot of times I sit there and don’t’ know what to write. This time it was like yeah and I feel like I should be recording this, instead of writing it. It’s not like I don’t love writing (I totally do). It’s just my creative way around writer’s block. I’ve been really learning about being in the present moment and just being with what is, and not having to make it perfect, so I probably will send this out as a recording with no edits in it (yep, that’s what you’re getting).

I know I’m on my brief human journey, which includes grief, and grief tends to be my focus these days. Living in alignment with who I really am means I need to be in the moment a lot more, because I need to tend to whatever’s coming up, and also I need to stop running away from whatever’s coming up, and to varying degrees during this journey that’s been okay or maybe not a good idea. But it’s timing for me, and now is the time.

If you grow a relationship with your body, begin to trust your body and know the truths that it’s telling you, and accept them, and live with them… sometimes the body will protect you from what it perceives as harm, by responding in certain ways. Same with the brain. Note: What I was trying to say here is that the body and brain will hold all those truths, but if your body and brain are protecting you from past trauma being triggered, that information gets stored in the body and brain, so that you can unwind it little by little when you have appropriate support and feel ready.

Being in the moment means all of this sort of meandering. I’m just allowing things to flow here. It’s not an article that would be all perfect or whatever. It’s just my thoughts in the moment and my feelings and connection to Spirit in the moment, and just allowing whatever needs to come through to come through.

It’s kind of like channelling my songs. This is what I do.

Circling back now…

Sometimes we think we have to completely shut the door or end something completely to do something differently. Like maybe the thing you hate doing or wish didn’t exist in your life – it’s low down on the scale of 1-10 but you have to keep doing it, for example a job you hate. You can bring your vibration/frequency up and create alignment. For example, I created this space that was a gratitude space I had to walk through almost every day. It took me into gratitude instead of into “oh god I have to go to this thing.” So instead of suffering through something every day, I put myself into gratitude, and because of that it changed my frequency because gratitude is a super high frequency. If you put yourself into gratitude first thing in the morning, it turns your entire day around, and it changes your perspective around everything. So when you’re at work, you’re going to find some alignments there that you didn’t see before, or you’re going to create those alignments. Maybe you usually ignore certain people at work but instead you smile at them. Maybe you meditate for 5 minutes before you get to work. Could be you just laugh or watch something funny on YouTube just before doing something that feels a bit out of alignment with you, or dealing with a person who feels out of alignment with you.



I’m not saying that if you’re in an abusive situation, you should just get into gratitude about it and stay with the abuser. However, your being in a higher frequency state more and more could possibly give you access to different ideas, people and resources you hadn’t noticed that can help you completely change your situation.

You can entrain people to you. You don’t want to be entrained into people or situations are out of alignment with you. You don’t want to shrink down your vibration. If your job is a 2 for you and literally anything else is a 10 for you, and you go and shrink your vibration down to that 2, it’s not a great thing to do. It’s important NOT to shrink down your vibration to meet people at your level, but there are ways to work with your energy around that. For example, if you’re a deeply spiritual person, and you have a friend you love dearly or a family member you don’t want to stop seeing, but being around them, you feel like you have to shrink your vibration or hide your light to hang out with them, that’s not the way to go.

The way to go is to stay at your high vibration, or even go higher, by doing something that lifts your vibration very quickly (example – listen to a song you love). Then when you do that, it lifts your frequency where you have access to different kinds of insights, different approaches you can work with and different perspectives, so that you’re looking at things differently already, but you’re also going to be DOING things differently because you’re coming from a different space.

Instead of shrinking your vibration down, remember you’re going to stay high frequency, or even get into a higher frequency. It’s not like being in alignment with that situation or person necessarily – you don’t want to entrain to that because you’re coming down and literally are going to feel drained after talking to them. Instead, boost your frequency, and then when you’re coming from that place, just notice. Take a couple of breaths and notice that now you’ve got access to something more high frequency. Then you can sit there and listen, because at that level of awareness, you have access to different things you didn’t have access to before.

I hope this helps. This was me going from a lower frequency of frustration to a higher frequency of “what if,” and then from there, I was inspired to record an audio. This is the transcript of it, with a few slight edits to make it more readable for you. Enjoy!

Love & Blessings,

Brenda MacIntyre, Medicine Song Woman



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About Brenda MacIntyre

About Brenda MacIntyre

Known by her indigenous name Medicine Song Woman, Brenda MacIntyre has shared her evocative melodic voice and fusion of reggae, rap and indigenous hand drum healing music with appreciative audiences of 30 to 3,000 across North America. The Toronto-based Juno Award-winning singer has been featured nationally on MuchMusic, CTV, CP24, APTN and most recently, Global and the front page of the Toronto Star.

Powered by her grief from losing her son to murder in 2016, Brenda MacIntyre pours her soulful voice over a confluence of indigenous hand drum healing, soft rap and conscious roots reggae in her album “Picking Up the Pieces,” released in September 2019.

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