How do you know if a decision is a good one for you? I hear that a lot. Like, a LOT. Most of us are afraid of making a mistake, or being wrong. What is wrong or right anyway in terms of decisions? The idea of right and wrong only comes up when we feel like we might fail at something or we’re afraid of being judged.
A decision that expands you into infinite potential and possibilities feels vastly different than one that doesn’t.
I’m going to share with you exactly how to know when you’re making a powerful, spiritually and energetically aligned, expansive decision, and how to know what to do next.
Not every decision carries the same energy or importance but when it presents you with the potential for expansion, here’s how to tell which road to take.
- Decisions that are out of alignment bring you out of alignment with who you are, which lowers your frequency, strength and immunity, and can make you feel miserable. Who wants that?
- Making a decision that just maintains your personal status quo is your permission to yourself to hold back and if most of your decisions are made this way, you’re not being true to you. If you’re making a decision to maintain the general status quo, you’re disconnecting from yourself even more.
- Choosing, as Star Trek says, “to boldly go where no one has gone before” creates automatic expansion for you. You don’t have to literally do something nobody in the entire history of the planet has done before, and you don’t have to reinvent the wheel. It just means that instead of putting said wheel into the same old space where it spins in its tracks, looks the same as every other wheel, or travels the same path every day, you put the wheel where it can roll freely and then you get out of the way. We’re so afraid of being out of control that we try to control everything. That gets us nowhere.
So why do you think I cancelled my own birthday this year?
My birthday was Nov 28th, the day the murder trial started last year. If you’re new here, you might not know that my son Quinn was senselessly murdered just shy of 4 years ago.
I cancelled my annual birthday event this year for two reasons.
- I was feeling out of alignment with doing the event. There were a few factors but the defining ones were that (a) I wasn’t excited about doing it and (b) numbers were so low I would lose money, and also low enough it would be easy for me to refund attendees.
- And this is the most crucial reason I cancelled. I found out about a “Community Healing Call-in” event in my own neighbourhood around the topic of gun violence, which is what killed my son. But that in itself is not a reason for me to cancel. I’ll tell you what is.
HOW TO MAKE SUPER-ALIGNED EXPANSIVE DECISIONS:
Have you ever received a gift or gone on an adventure that lit you up so much you couldn’t stop talking about it to everyone you know? This is what happens in a powerful decision.
About alignment: Making a decision based on how aligned it is with who you believe yourself to be is pretty cool but check this out. If you make a choice and take inspired action based on how aligned it is with who you are BECOMING, that decision will take you way up on the frequency scale and open you up to far more than you could ever have imagined. And I’m not saying it will make your life all Pollyanna perfect. There might be some difficult, scary actions to take. The outcome might be completely different than you expect. But rest assured that when you make a powerful decision that is aligned with who you are becoming, you will absolutely have a soul-expanding experience because of it.
When I read about the Community Healing Call-in event, my entire body responded immediately with an intense all-over feeling of “I HAVE TO BE THERE!!!” So what does that mean? Do you have a sense of how that would feel for you? If not, here are some examples.
SIGNS THAT YOUR DECISION IS A POWERFUL ONE:
Body Sensations: For me, I had goosebumps, chills, my whole body warmed up, I could feel a rush of energy coming up my spine and spreading out inside me, a sense of extra physical strength, I leaned in, straightened out my posture, and my eyes got big and bright. Get to know what your body sensations are telling you by paying attention in the moment.
Your Voice: My voice got big, rich, clear and extra resonant as I read it out loud to myself. Your voice will tell you how you’re doing, and it holds your Truth. Your voice KNOWS. Note: If your voice feels or sounds weak, small or full of fear, that’s usually an indication that your throat centre is holding some blocks to your self-expression. Dig into the blocks, see what’s there and listen to your voice again as you talk out the decision. If you want help to release those blocks, contact me. I may be able to help via a Medicine Song Healing & Reading Session. Or check out my Sacred Feminine Success Path program for finding your voice.
The Urge to Take Action NOW: I had the immediate urge to put the event in my calendar, make arrangements for someone to drive me, cancel my birthday event and contact the event organizer. TIP: Follow the urge right away or ASAP when you have it. If you let the urge die off, you’ve lost momentum and your connection to that powerful expansive energy.
Emotional Expansion: I got really excited, and in terms of my birthday event, I felt relief but also a sense of knowing that it was most powerful decision I could make. I felt extremely uplifted and like all my feel-good chemicals were having a party.
Fear. Yes, I felt FEAR. Like legit massive fear because where the event was being held is in a known dangerous area full of gun violence. Normally, I do NOT go into any area that is known for violence or shootings. But this was a CALLING. My entire being was feeling the YES. I had tears from the intensity of the YES, and probably from the fear too, but I could envision myself not only attending this event, but singing at it. Caveat: You don’t have to feel massive fear like I did to know your decision is a good one. I just want you to know that if there is no fear at all, it’s very likely not going to expand you. There is a time and place for decisions that maintain your personal status quo and don’t bring up fear. In nature, we have waves of expansion and waves of contraction. In between we have maintenance of what is, and then hopefully recalibration, to help you hold and get used to your expansion. With complicated or traumatic grief, that recalibration period can in some ways go on for the rest of your life, but there are ways to create expansion even within that journey. I’m living proof.
THE MAGIC POURS IN WHEN YOU SAY YES TO YOUR EXPANSION:
Of course it’s not like I was on the bill to sing, right? But I made that happen. Spirit made that happen. I was so 100% all-in that when I contacted Jill Andrew’s team to offer to sing at the event and share my personal experiences with gun violence, they were a 100% YES. Not to be disrespectful but even if they had said no, I would’ve stood up at Q&A time, said some things, and sung a song. I couldn’t NOT do that because the calling was so strong.
Everything lined up for me to go and I did get on the agenda to sing.
Something magical happened that night. Someone came forward and shared with me that they had been at the site of the shooting that night when my son was killed. They were at an after-hours club, very likely the one that my son and his friends were trying to find when they were shot for asking for directions.
The personal gift for me from this conversation and event is that the person told me that night brought on a powerful expansive decision for them: They quit drugs, quit going to night clubs and got a great job making a huge positive impact on this city.
Now I know that if one person told me that, then there are more people out there who changed their lives for the better after that shooting… and that brings tears of gratitude for me right now just thinking of it. Quinn did that. I already knew from what my elder said in one of our sessions that my son chose to leave the planet in this way to make a difference and this is just one example of the difference that he made.
As a result of singing that night, I have been invited to further opportunities to sing and share my message in my own neighbourhood.
Similar to when you get a spiritual download, magic happens when you make expansive decisions, and it all gets felt first in your body.
Don’t make decisions based on…
- What you “think you should do”
- Other people’s opinions (what they think you should do)
- Whether it will make you more “liked” or not
Do make decisions based on…
- How you FEEL. Not just your emotions but your physical sensations, and all of your senses. Do you have goosebumps thinking about it? Does your body seem to lean in or back? What does your voice sound like when you’re talking about different choices you could make? Caveat: See below about fear. Fear is usually a healthy reminder that you’re stepping into something unfamiliar, new and expansive.
- What you DESIRE. Not what you kind of want. Not what you think you should have. Not what your ego is trying to get you to want. I’m talking about what your whole being desires.
- Possibility. The idea of a decision being a simple yes or no, one or the other, does not offer much possibility. My decision could’ve just been do I do my birthday party or not. But instead, while I could feel myself physically and emotionally backing away from my birthday party, another possibility emerged at the last minute. It wasn’t yes or no. It was no and yes. No to the party and yes to the new opportunity.
- Clarity. You just KNOW. You have a “feeling.” Logically it might not even make sense at all but you know.
Every molecule of my being was lighting up with the DESIRE to be there. That’s what a CALLING feels like. That’s what EXPANSION feels like. NEVER ignore those callings in the moment. This was also the most appropriate way to reset how I feel about and experience my birthday, after the murder trial starting that day last year, and it’s a way that as a motivational speaker and singer I could tangibly give back to my own neighbourhood in Toronto and make a difference around the gun violence and the impact of that on everyone.
A WORD ABOUT THE POWER OF SPIRITUAL EXPANSION:
I knew I would be safe and that’s a pretty huge statement considering how I normally feel these days with all the shootings in our city and even not far from my home. But how did I know this?
I was following that calling and I could feel the expansion and power of it. Yes, I’m a healer, yes I can see, feel, hear, taste, smell and sense different energies, the higher realms and multiple dimensions. Maybe you have similar gifts or maybe not but you don’t need to have specific spiritual gifts to be in touch with your intuition and your body. We all can do that any time. You just need to pay more attention to those subtle body sensations and emotions.
When every fibre of your being screams at you to be somewhere, BE THERE.
Find ways through your fear and step up, because the energy and alignment you have will carry you through if you don’t give power to the fear. Desire wins over fear every time IF you feel and flow that desire and be in its energy.
So what has allowing myself to be led by my own DESIRE created? The morning I wrote this, I dropped everything, rescheduled what I needed to, and worked on nothing but THIS. I contacted the host and said I want to sing and speak at this event, and that regardless of their decision I will be there as a resource. I shared the event and told people why. I cancelled my birthday event. And I KNEW I would be singing and speaking at this “Community Healing Call-in” because my spirit was practically bursting out of me to make sure that happens. The end.
By the way, I wrote this article right after I made the decision and took all those actions. That’s how strongly I KNEW that I would sing there that night. Zero doubt happens when you have this kind of alignment with an expansive decision… unless you let fear take control.
When it comes to creating expansion in your life, FOLLOW YOUR DESIRE. Trust it. Take whatever aligned actions show up.
If there are disappointments along the way, trust those too – they’re probably leading you towards the exact next step if you keep listening.
THIS is what finding your voice and your calling looks like. It’s also what LIVING feels like. If you’re on a grief journey, you know all too well what just barely surviving feels like. There will be times on that journey when you feel an opening, a lightness, or a calling. Let it lead you.
ASK YOURSELF: What’s lighting you up with literally a fire under you compelling you to get up and do something? Maybe nothing in this moment, but give it your fullest attention when it shows up.
Notice when you light up. Do more of those things. Notice when your voice is like HERE I AM – HEAR ME NOW!!! And give your voice that space to be heard!
When you have that kind of powerful combination of calling, desire, alignment and action, your voice, body and mind will be backed by even more power than you can imagine.
LETTING YOU OFF THE HOOK – DON’T JUDGE THE DECISIONS YOU’VE MADE:
To get real here, when it comes down to it, no matter what choices you make, all of them come with the opportunity to expand, contract or maintain your energy and state of being.
I don’t believe in mistakes or failure. Everything is an experience and you can make of it what you decide.
Just make sure you’re fuelling your voice and body with your soul’s DESIRE and CALLING in the moment, and no matter what choices you’ve made or are making, you can light that fire and create expansion in your life.
For more on spiritual expansion, see How to Ride the Waves of Spiritual Expansion.
Questions about the article? Leave a comment below. I’m sure it will help others too.
Brenda MacIntyre, Medicine Song Woman