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How to Create and Reinforce Energetic and Spiritual Boundaries

Mental Health, Spiritual Connection | 13 comments

What do you need to set spiritual and energetic boundaries for anyway?

For half my life I didn’t even know what a boundary was, much less energetic and spiritual boundaries.

Why are spiritual and energetic boundaries so important? These kinds of boundaries work together with our physical boundaries to keep us safe and to help us to have healthy relationships and enjoy our lives. We are all connected but it doesn’t mean we want to carry around other people’s energies, right? It doesn’t mean you have to absorb other people’s pain either.

What even is a spiritual or energetic boundary?

I use the words “spiritual” and “energetic” interchangeably because whether you are spiritual or not, upholding our unseen boundaries is just as important as upholding our physical boundaries. Ever since I was a child, I’ve been able to see the energy that connects us all, so I don’t have to “believe” we are connected. We just are. That means our energies mingle with those of other people we are around. Our spiritual and energetic boundaries are like a body and aura defense system to help keep your body and energy field clear and healthy. Your boundaries keep unwanted energies, emotions and pain from other people out of our systems.

A spiritual or energetic boundary consists of energy, thought, intentions, and if you are able, visualization.

How do spiritual and energetic boundaries work?

If you want to know how to create and reinforce energetic and spiritual boundaries, my guess is that you’re experiencing what it feels like when someone walks all over you, or you don’t know how to say no, or maybe you love to help but some of your loved ones get mad when you try to help them. That or you’re an empath. A spiritual or energetic boundary is like an invisible barrier. I think of it as a cell wall that only lets in what and who are aligned with you and good for you, and that also helps you to release other people’s energies, emotions and pain from your system.

I have spent over 20 years on developing and maintaining my boundaries. Below, I have 8 ways for you to create and reinforce spiritual and energetic boundaries, but first, let me give you a powerful example of what effective spiritual and energetic boundaries can do for your benefit.

When my son died, I knew I had to be even more vigilant over my self-protection, so I amplified my spiritual and energetic boundaries. Someone touting themselves as spiritually powerful came into my Facebook inbox to “give me a gift” by trying to make me feel like something was wrong with me. Their invitation to this so-called gift was “Why do I always feel a wall with you?” Want to guess why they felt that wall?

That wall? That’s real. This person felt my energetic boundaries that were up specifically for them and people like them.

That is how I knew all the hard work on creating and reinforcing energetic and spiritual boundaries, as well as physical ones, was working incredibly well. I mean, I had taken such a huge hit to my spirit, heart and body when my son died and yet, here were my energetic and spiritual boundaries giving this person “a wall” they could not pass through on a spiritual or energetic level.

This person still tried to get past my boundaries. When I didn’t respond right away, they commented on one of my Facebook posts just a few days after my son died, saying how rude I was for not acknowledging their private message of a “gift”.

It isn’t a gift  if someone tries to force you to receive it. If I hadn’t been in shock and grief when that person originally contacted me just days after my son’s death, I would’ve deleted and blocked them from Facebook right away. After that comment, I did. That’s taking my spiritual boundary to the physical.

One thing my son’s death has shown me is the difference between someone coming from a place of heart, soul and truth vs. someone acting on behalf of their ego. 

Sadly, in Covid times, I’ve seen a lot of ego but it’s a bit harder because some people who are genuine and coming from truth have let their own boundaries down. That means it can be harder to tell because they seem to be genuine but if you listen carefully, they show you who they really are.

Grandmother Joanne Dallaire, the Indigenous elder from whom I have gotten much of my spiritual advice, always quotes Maya Angelou in saying “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” I’ve always been a little too “nicey nicey”. One of my coaches called me on that years ago, and Joanne did once too. I’d been getting better about it, but over the years I let people walk all over me in the name of giving them a chance… and another chance… and another chance.

You know those times when you say yes but really want to say no? Or those times when you feel a creepy or needy energy behind someone’s intentions? Believe them. That is what is happening.

That creeped out feeling you feel is your spirit and body telling you this person is hitting your “wall,” your energetic and spiritual boundaries. Then you are at a choice point. Do you let them in or do you block them? What you choose will be stored in your cell wall for later, so choose mindfully.

It takes a lot more work to create and reinforce energetic and spiritual boundaries, as well as physical ones, when you are:
  • Experiencing grief, trauma or chronic pain.
  • Feeling “off.”
  • Feeling sick or unwell.
  • Not confident about yourself or you have low self-esteem.
  • Not experienced in creating and upholding energetic and spiritual boundaries.

You get to decide who and what you let into your world. Not only that, but if you let someone into your world, you can choose if they get to stay or not.

The best kind of spiritual and energetic protection really is just feeling good, or as Abraham-Hicks would say, being in your Vortex. The Medicine Song Oracle Card I pulled about this experience is Medicine Song Visualization Card. Medicine Song is about being in your vortex – feeling good, connected, in the zone, no matter what’s going on outside and around you. But when something happens in your life and you’re feeling “off” or drained from an experience such as losing a loved one, that’s when you’re vulnerable and your “walls” can weaken or come down.

Here are 8 ways you can create and reinforce energetic boundaries, which act as spiritual protection:

1. Put up a reverse mirror all around your entire aura, especially before having any conversations for the day, whether in person, text, Facetime, phone or zoom. Set your intention to allow in ONLY those energies, beings and people who are aligned with your highest good. Intend that all energy sent to you be mirrored back to whoever is sending it, or neutralized and recycled by Mother Earth. This is not to harm anyone but to prevent the delivery of “mystery gifts” of shame, manipulation, greed, fear, or ill thoughts about you. Mirroring people’s mystery gifts back to them may help them to understand themselves better as well.

2. Cell Wall. My new favourite way to create and reinforce my energetic and spiritual boundaries is to visualize a cell wall over top of my entire energy system (aura). Think of a cell like we all learned in high school Biology. A call wall’s sole purpose is to allow nutrients in, while clearing out what no longer serves. Nothing else gets in or out. That cell wall knows exactly who and what to allow beyond its boundary. Of course, we humans need to give our energy system’s cell wall appropriate instructions and feedback. We need to listen to our own physical and emotional responses to a person or situation, and give that information to our cell wall with a yes or no.

3. Set your intentions in the morning. Mine are always “I intend that everything I be, do, say, feel, think, believe and act on today be for the highest good of all life everywhere.” You might want to pull a card for the day, if you have a tarot or oracle deck.

4. Use your hands. If I need extra spiritual protection, I might do a bit of ecstatic dance (free-form dance) and use my hands to physically reinforce my energetic boundaries all around me. It’s as if I’m finger-painting the boundary onto my aura.

5. Create sacred space. You can bring sacredness into any space you are in, including your body, home, vehicle, office or a specific room. You can create an altar or just surround yourself with sacred items that put you in a high frequency state, like crystals and stones…

6. Crystals and stones. Sheen Obsidian is amazing at repelling negativity. Most black stones are. Rose quartz and pink kunzite are great for creating an atmosphere of love. Remember to cleanse your mineral friends as well. You can use #4 for that. Not all stones and crystals can take being water cleansed, so just know your stones and give them the care they need. Some, like Kyanite, which balances and clears the chakras, don’t need cleansing.

7. Smudge. Burn culturally appropriate, ethically harvested plant medicines for cleansing, like lavender, sage, cedar, frankincense, copal or palo santo. Those medicines will help clear your energy and the energy of your space. You can also use smudge spray as an alternative.

8. Check your own energy. The more in tune you are to yourself, the more you can recognize other people’s energy and intentions coming in. The more you can catch these energies before they take physical form, the better you will feel. Example: me blocking that person on Facebook. How you can tell? If being around someone or reading their messages or hearing their voice makes you feel creeped out or drained or bad, or you feel like you want to run away… those are some ways your body and intuition are letting you know.

Got your own ideas about spiritual protection and energetic boundaries? Insights hitting you right now? Please drop a comment on the blog. I’d love to hear about it and you might just help someone else… without violating any boundaries. 😉

Love & Blessings,

Brenda MacIntyre, Medicine Song Woman



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  1. ELE

    Thank you for sharing this. I needed reinforcement that what I felt was legitimate.

    • Brenda MacIntyre

      Ele, I’m so glad you felt validated by reading this. Blessings, Brenda

  2. Jen quintana

    I appreciate your sharing the wisdom of energy boundaries. I’ve had these same experiences and knowings. I love the synchronicity. Happy to find your blog today.

    • Brenda MacIntyre

      Thanks, Jen. I’m always glad to help.

  3. Tashwini

    I’m a student and I’m doing research on boundaries and mental health. That lead me to your page but honestly, I’m feeling very much down at the moment. I’m forced to be in a place that I’m unhappy with, especially with a person I’m unhappy with. I pray on a daily basis but somehow negative thoughts, worries, unnecessary stress, pressure, and anxiety make it in my head because I’m so unhappy in this place. As you mentioned, “If being around someone or reading their messages or hearing their voice makes you feel creeped out or drained or bad or you feel like you want to run away… those are some ways your body and intuition are letting you know”, I feel this every day but I’m unable to do anything about it cause I have to complete my semester here. I really don’t know what to do. Kindly advise. Thank you.

    • Brenda MacIntyre

      I’m sorry to hear you were feeling down when you commented here and I hope you’re feeling better now. I know how much environment can affect our well-being and mental health. Just off the top of my head, I’d suggest you find ways to make your environment feel better to you, and do your best to build boundaries, even if it means you’re still in the presence of people you’d rather not be near. For example, is there a way you can limit your time spent with them? Can you put earbuds in and blast music and let people know you are unavailable at certain times? Just a couple of ideas but it still all comes down to creating and upholding boundaries. Creating physical boundaries isn’t always easy but we need those as well as our energetic/spiritual boundaries, so maybe this is a push for you to get creative with how you do that in your particular situation. Sending love. I know how tough that can be.

  4. Ann Marie Powers

    I love everything about this post! Thank you for opening up about some very personal stuff. I recently started a gratitude practice because I knew that, as my life was transitioning and the manipulations of other people around me was out of my control, I didn’t want to go to a space where I felt sorry for myself, blamed anyone else or ended up focusing on the negative. So, the simply practice of finding things to be grateful for and only allowing those energies in that are in line with my highest good and the highest good of all really helps keep my vibration raised. These are simple practices that yeild much power. Thanks for bringing up the topic of boundaries. I think most of us empaths forget how much power we actually have, and how much magic it can create, when we stay in control of who and what we let in. Thank you!! <3

    • Brenda MacIntyre

      Thank you, Ann Marie! That’s great you’ve started a gratitude practice. Gratitude is one of he most important tools in anyone’s mindfulness toolkit. Yes, when empaths reclaim their power, we can definitely create so much more magic, and without feeling so drained.

    • Brenda MacIntyre

      Thank you so much, Ann Marie! Yes, having a gratitude practice is an incredible way to make things better and make way for a positive shift. And yes, boundaries are super important. We really do have the power to do a lot in these human bodies, and being empathic, even moreso. 🙂

  5. Ashton

    Thank you so much for this powerful gift and message. These techniques feel bang on and I am thankful to have come to your page so uncover them and begin to practice them in my life.

    • Brenda MacIntyre

      Ashton, you’re so welcome. I’m glad to hear these techniques resonate with you. Sending love your way.

  6. Mimi

    Hi. I just wanted to say thank you for this blog post, reading it helped me change my life for the better. You are truly amazing, thank you for being you and encouraging others to also become their best self!

    • Brenda MacIntyre

      Hi Mimi. I’m so glad to hear this and I appreciate the love. 🙂


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About Brenda MacIntyre

About Brenda MacIntyre

Known by her indigenous name Medicine Song Woman, Brenda MacIntyre has shared her evocative melodic voice and fusion of reggae, rap and indigenous hand drum healing music with appreciative audiences of 30 to 3,000 across North America. The Toronto-based Juno Award-winning singer has been featured nationally on MuchMusic, CTV, CP24, APTN and most recently, Global and the front page of the Toronto Star.

Powered by her grief from losing her son to murder in 2016, Brenda MacIntyre pours her soulful voice over a confluence of indigenous hand drum healing, soft rap and conscious roots reggae in her album “Picking Up the Pieces,” released in September 2019.

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