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The Energy Vampire Called Perfectionism and How to Stop It

Mental Health | 0 comments

We all have encountered those people who drain us completely or make us feel angry or frustrated or hopeless. What we often forget is the worst energy vampire of all: Perfectionism.

That horrible nagging need to make things perfect before going public with it. You know what that does? You end up putting off or completely avoiding doing what’s really important to you, what really matters to you, because you – or parts of you – don’t think you or what you’ve done are good enough.

Ouch. That is what stops us all at some point or another. But it doesn’t have to. We can take back our energy, reclaim it, recycle it and take inspired action instead of holding ourselves back or creating self-sabotage that keeps us stuck.

The transition of my son is leading me into working with and speaking about the struggles we go through as healers – like doing our healing work and also being on our own healing journey… and the whole lie of everything being all perfect, bright and shiny once we do “x”, when reality is, life is full of contrast no matter how “perfect” we get, because we’re just as human as anyone else.

What you see on someone’s Facebook wall, or what they tell you in a conversation, or what they say on stage… in most cases, that’s just a little piece of the reality they want to show you that either makes them look good, creates shock value, or… did I say makes them look good?

Wakeup Call: You can’t be that person (they can’t either), and really, that’s not why we’re here in the first place, so here are 5 tips to help you stop perfectionism in its tracks…

How to Stop Perfectionism from Ruining Your Life:

1. Pick your perfectionist battles. Let your inner perfectionist have her way in just a few situations where it can help you feel like you’re in control, or like you’re doing a great job. For example, dedicate yourself to that course you signed up for and actually do the work in it and attend the live calls. Or get yourself that perfect outfit that makes you feel alive, gorgeous and confident.

2. Awareness is always the first step. Take a good look at where you’ve been holding back and what you’ve been putting off. Not just anything you’ve been putting off, but the things you really really want to do but you’ve been putting them off. For example, you want to take an art class but your shyness keeps you from signing up, or you’ve been wanting to give readings or healing sessions but you’re afraid of your own power or that nobody will show up.

3. Take small steps in low-pressure situations to ditch the perfectionism completely. Maybe you colour outside the lines on purpose, for example. Or write in your journal really sloppy handwriting. Or journal using your keyboard and see what it feels like to NOT use the delete or back button (Oh NO! lol yeah that’s a hard one for me).

4. Take one high stakes situation and take a deep belly breath or a ton of them, and do the thing without the perfectionism. For example, post the video without editing it. Or have the conversation and speak the truth you’ve been wanting to say. Or like one of my clients did recently, schedule that workshop you’ve been wanting to give and take the steps to make it happen.

5. Go easy on yourself!!! Perfectionism will rear its head, especially in high stakes situations where you really want something but you’re also really afraid of what will happen if you get what you want. It’s okay to have fear come up. You can move through it. Just don’t let it settle into your body. Taking action takes the power away from the fear, like letting the air out of a balloon… and gives YOU back the power and confidence to take the inspired action you’ve been wanting to take.

Please share on the blog any insights or aha’s you’re getting. I’d love to hear about it. (:

Love & Blessings,

Brenda MacIntyre, Medicine Song Woman



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About Brenda MacIntyre

About Brenda MacIntyre

Known by her indigenous name Medicine Song Woman, Brenda MacIntyre has shared her evocative melodic voice and fusion of reggae, rap and indigenous hand drum healing music with appreciative audiences of 30 to 3,000 across North America. The Toronto-based Juno Award-winning singer has been featured nationally on MuchMusic, CTV, CP24, APTN and most recently, Global and the front page of the Toronto Star.

Powered by her grief from losing her son to murder in 2016, Brenda MacIntyre pours her soulful voice over a confluence of indigenous hand drum healing, soft rap and conscious roots reggae in her album “Picking Up the Pieces,” released in September 2019.

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