Ever get stuck between choices? Indecision does not feel good. Don’t you wish you had a decision-making map to follow to get the right answer?
Sometimes decision-making sucks but the answers are obvious, right there in front of us. For example, when I wrote this article, we had a sudden torrential downpour. I had a headache and Uber pricing was surging. I knew I probably wouldn’t get there on time, so while I really needed to get to that physio appointment, the cost financially, physically and emotionally wasn’t worth the trip. I knew I wouldn’t be charged for missing my appointment, so I stayed home and did my physio exercises.
We human beings are making decisions all the time. Even not making a decision is still a decision to not make a decision!
Making decisions is just not an easy thing to do for most of us, and the bigger the decision, or the higher the impact on us and/or the world, the harder it can be to make.
When I sat down to write this article, based on a Facebook post I had made a few days back, I had no idea I would get a spiritual download of a doodle diagram along with it. So if you’re a visual learner, here you go.
Most people make decisions logically or based on emotion. Empathic or holistic-minded people tend to make holistic decisions from the heart, soul, head and body. That can work really well – unless it doesn’t. Sometimes it means you’re getting pulled in a million directions!
That can get you into trouble, especially if you don’t trust your mind, body, spirit, heart, intuition and Higher Realms Support Team all at once in those decision-making moments. And really, who is?! Of course that is not easy to do… but it is doable. I’ll share with you in a moment how I do it, and you can download my Decision-Making Medicine Wheel Map if it helps to have a visual.
My Decision-Making Process:
I didn’t have this Decision-Making Medicine Wheel Map when I was deciding whether or not to go to physio, but it is very similar to my oracle card system, based on the indigenous Medicine Wheel and the 4 cardinal directions. I’ll highlight where my decision-making steps fall on the map so you can get a sense of how to use it for yourself (and how you’re already probably using it to some degree):
Allow your process to unfold.
It could be different every time. Don’t judge. Try not to resist. Breathe into your belly. Get really present with yourself. And let it roll. Don’t skip the part about getting present first. By the way, breathing deeply for a few minutes will bring more oxygen into your blood, which will in turn help your mind be sharper!
You’ve got to start somewhere. Doesn’t matter where!
It could be a thought up in your head, a gut feeling, fear that comes up, a deadline, tapping into your spirit guides, hearing someone say something that triggers you, imagining how you will feel with a yes or no, or talking to your mentor. In my example of staying home vs. going to physio, the first place I went was my mind (East), heart (West) and body (North).
How would I feel if I were to try and walk in that much rain with my chronic pain? Should I wait it out? Since I don’t drive, I knew I’d have to get an Uber or taxi? Transit would have gotten me there late, so it was no longer a consideration after I looked at the time. I could’ve ordered the Uber but then still missed the appointment due to the weather.
Let the questions come. Don’t worry about getting perfect answers.
Worry and perfectionism will stall or mess up any decision, given the chance. Don’t let it happen. Breathing into your belly will help you exit what I call Anxiety-Land, where only thoughts you can access are the opposite of helpful. Get present. Then let the questions come.
As you can see above, and you’ve probably experienced yourself, the mind will engage you in questions at some point in the decision-making process. Sometimes it happens so quickly that you get caught up in your head, which is one way to get stuck. Let that pressure go.
As you dig deeper and allow, those questions will begin to come from your higher self and/or your HRST – Higher Realms Support Team – whatever that means to you. As you answer the questions, you’ll get clearer on your decision. By the way, this whole process can take seconds up to several minutes, but as you get used to allowing that connection between mind, heart, body and soul, it will be faster and easier.
HOT TIP: Here’s where the struggle can come in – getting stuck in your mind or too complicated in your answers.
That’s okay too, as long as you recognize it and get back to allowing the process to unfold. What if the Uber takes too long? So I look at the app. Hmmm. Rates have surged to even higher than a taxi. Taxis take a long time to come in the rain. I was relying on my previous history but also taking some action, which puts me in the North on the Map. I began to tap into my intuition: Maybe it would be better to stay home. Then I remember how healing the rain is for my headaches… and I had a headache. Spirit, Heart and Body territory. West, South and North on the Map. So now what? It sounds like I was all over the place, right? Yeah, I was, and that’s just the way it works with me, and maybe with you too. It’s weird form of balance and my Ancestors have been practicing those Medicine Wheel teachings of balance for hundreds of years.
Once you allow the process to unfold, you will find that you either go into resistance and have to get back into allowing, or you arrive at a decision. If you find yourself in resistance a lot with your decision-making, you are probably not trusting yourself and your Decision-Making Medicine Wheel is out of balance.
Have you accessed all 4 directions on the Map? Have a look at the Map and see which directions you’ve left behind and see if you can pull them in. If you’re not trusting yourself, you might need to block outer influences from your process. So often they can take over when we don’t trust ourselves.
The clues will be in your mind, body, heart or spirit, or maybe in all of those places. Maybe you don’t want to be responsible for the outcome? Maybe you just hate having to make difficult decisions because when you were a kid, people were always making decisions for you? Dig and you’ll find out what you need to unlock.
YOU are the convergence point in the middle of the Map.
If you need help, try a decision-making tool.
When I’m really really stuck and I have no idea what to do, I go to my Medicine Song Oracle Cards™ (sold out). If you have a deck, the Butterfly Spread is great for helping you to make powerful decisions. You could also use a Tarot deck (personally, I love the Motherpeace deck), muscle-testing, a pendulum, or your body as a pendulum.
The secret is, it’s still YOU making the decision. These tools can only show you what you (at least some part of you) already know.
So the rest of my process and decision…
I started feeling connected to the rain. Spirit/South. I kept checking Uber rates. North/Action/Body. I thought of self-care and how I could turn this around for myself. East/Mind.
This example is me taking quite a while to make a decision, just to show you I get that it’s not always easy.
The deadline came… the turning point. Either I get a taxi or Uber NOW or I will be late and it won’t be worth it. So I decide. Not only am I staying home but I will take action for my self-care. I will do the exercises the physiotherapist gave me. I will take some extra time for myself today, to do nothing. If the rain continues I will get out when it’s pouring hard for some spiritual healing (heavy rain can eliminate my headaches if I stand in it).
I Want You to Get This: You’re off the hook. You can’t make the wrong decision… IF you’re willing to make it right.
I made it RIGHT. I made my decision work for me, so no matter what the outcome, it was the right decision. You know what? It’s ALWAYS the right decision.
Your decisions always will lead you to where you need to go next, even if you gave into fear or resistance. Even if there are other people affected by your decision, it’s still the right decision. Maybe Aunt Joan needed you to not drive her to the airport so she would increase her self-confidence. Maybe that highway was backed up with an accident. Maybe that thing you said made that person think differently about her behaviour for the first time ever. Maybe it was YOU who needed to learn a different way of doing things, or to learn that you’ll never make the same decision again. Then I hope you learned it!
The caveat… If you use this as an excuse to make a decision that you know will not be good for you, you can keep on making it right all you want, but it’s a big waste of time when you could’ve been doing something much more fun than continuing in a pattern of struggle and resistance. We all get into those patterns and we can all get ourselves out. Sometimes it might take support, especially if you are heavy with grief or trauma. Find support if you need it. But you can practice with smaller, lower impact decisions. That will help you grow your decision-making muscles so it gets easier even with grief or trauma.
If you feel like you’ve made a mistake or done something stupid, congratulations! Welcome to the human race! But seriously, I don’t believe in mistakes or failures. I believe in learning.
You can harvest the teachings and blessings no matter what the outcome.
Feel free to share the Decision-Making Medicine Wheel Map or this article over social media using the links below.
Love & Blessings,
Brenda MacIntyre, Medicine Song Woman
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